We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
He texted me for a bootycall at 2:00am so I rolled outta bed and shaved my legs but then he decided he wasn't coming over...he lost his bootycall privileges
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
Charles Darwin would shit his pants if he saw that we managed to survive that weekend.
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Randomize
