I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
peeing on that welcome mat was like, the highlight of my week
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
i just unblacked out cuddled in a pita pit booth with ten dollars rubberbanded to my hand.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
if it doesnt flame it aint got game is a bad drinking motto eyebrow-wise.
eyebrows regrow, your balls dont
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
Well its all fun and games until you get naked with your ex in the shower. that's NOT flirting
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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