wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
he had a sign stolen from the tennis court hanging above his bed that said, "please limit play to one hour while others are waiting"
I don't know what's worse....that fact that my dog ate my vibrator or that he later puked it up on my bed
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
At this point can I suggest a mail away bride. You judge Nick but you are a strange dude and that may be your ticket.
Be subtle and tell lucas that he should sleep here tonight. And by subtle, i mean show him this text...
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
This is NOT the time to take our hits and go to Disney. Let me repeat that. NOT THE TIME FOR DISNEY ON ACID
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Randomize
