Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
Hold my feet while i lean out of the window of the truck.
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
One of my pillows is missing but it's cool because there is a beef stick.
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
