I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I poured everyones drinks into the ice bucket and then stuck my face in it. Apparently I'm a greedy drunk.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
He won't have sex to beyonce. I hate him.
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
Roomies told me I showed up to my house alone with no pants on and burrs in my hair... I live in the middle of the city
I don't know what she did to me last night, but the scratches on my back indicate that I had sex with a Bengal tiger last night.
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
Randomize
