I wish I was a guy so I could jack myself off anytime I wanted to
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I can't find my underwear or one of my shoes but he baked me cookies for breakfast.
god. I was just thinkin about the fact that there was a time in our life when we didn't drink.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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