i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
All I want to do is sleep. And If I'm not sleeping, I want to be eating or fucking. I'm pretty sure being pregnant has turned me into a dude.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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