like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Nothing $200 worth of strippers and spicy fried chicken couldn't fix.
Drunk me has cost me a lot in cell phones...
dude the dog literally grabbed the condom out of the trash can and threw it in the air i'm screaming
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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