I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
I just woke up with the words DO IT on my hand and six beers in my purse.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
There was a clear and well defined point last night where I could've decided to go home but no now I've woken up with glitter all over my nuts and potentially an std or 2
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Get your ass back to America. We've got a lot of drugs to do.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
