i jhust puked up my retainher.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He soundtracked our prebreakup sex, our breakup, and out postbreakup sex. At least he's dedicated.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I don't care how great the sex was, I cannot unsee what has been seen. I regret ever stalking his Facebook.
idk wtf was in that bud but I was talking to my dead dog last night bro holy shit
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
I don't know if I'm dying or this is just a mild inconvenience
Shes the whorey leader of that wolf pack, and all the less whorey wolves report back to her. She teaches them the ways
Randomize
