1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i already hear my dad disowning me
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Go christen that room with your naked body.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My "lord keep me from stabbing a bitch" prayer has gotten a lot of miles today
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
