you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
He kept saying the best defense against a lion is to punch it in the throat.
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
I'm drinking vodka out of a water bottle at work. Am I really the best person to come to for life advice?
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
We found him sitting in the back of the club crying into a strippers lap. She told us he missed his pet frog and to come back later.
Randomize
