I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
just won a stolen shopping cart in a dance off in a parking lot.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Here is a brilliant idea passed on from men who have that same regret. WEAR A FUCKING CONDOM ALWAYS.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
you're hired as official boob wrangler
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