Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Fool me once shame on you. Fool me twice and I'm the idiot missing half an eyebrow again.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
Note to self: if you decide to go to the gym when you're coming down from your day high to shoot some hoops, do NOT play pickup basketball with the big black dudes who need a sixth
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
Dude I'm hungover as fuck in a bed in Baltimore with another man... I don't think I can make it.
Dicks are not precious.
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
