so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
Also, in the middle of me riding him, he said "I want you to dance on my dick" like I was supposed to know what that means
I just took three of the most beautiful hits of my life. As elegant and smooth and delicate and graceful as figure skating
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
