I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
It's like my work doesn't even care about margarita mondays.
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
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