Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
You know, last years football game was epic, but seeing the same girl that gave you a bj in the parking lot, in the same parking spot...that's fate.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
How are they?
Amazing! These new boobs are going to break blouse buttons and wedding vows!
Randomize
