if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
im using old socks as coasters. im going to make a great housewife.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
We left an ass print on the piano.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Dude he's the best wing man ever. He starts creepin' on a woman, and she clings on to you out of fear.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Randomize
