She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
my house keeper must think I'm a prostitute.
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
Like the friend zone has no room for winks
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
I'm so cold without your freakishly high body temperature
that's the equivalent to a normal girlfriends. 'I miss you' btw
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
Randomize
