I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
This dress was meant to end up on your floor
Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
the only compliment i could think of for this chick was that she looked 'moderately attractive'
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
Also we had sex while listening to fleetwood Mac on vinyl. Like the 70s called and told me to fuck off
Thanks for not letting me choke to death on my vomit last night
Thank you for attempting to organize my DVDs in chronological and alphbetical order
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
Randomize
