I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
My period started right as he was entering, which really helped me sell the "I've never done this before" bit.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
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