As long as they suck a good dick I don't care what fruit they have and where they have it
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
That was around the time you tried to kick me out for being rude to your fish.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
I am. I woke up on someone's front lawn dressed as max Payne also be proud.
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
You opened the door to your apartment and shrieked "THE CHAIR IS GONE!" then punted a bag of votive candles
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
Randomize
