My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
She is only going home with him in hopes to give him herpes. She has been plotting some master revenge since 7th grade.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
I don't want to get pregnant doggy style. That's sad.
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
The guy I'm talking to drunk texted me his essay last night and he asked me to revise it
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
