Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
God, you're like boner-b-gone
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
Woke up in time for my 8:15
Good for you I'm impressed
I realized 10 minutes in it was a class from last semester
right now I need to figure out a smart way to get an accurate picture of his dick so I know what in dealing with, right now in flying blind.
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
On a scale from 1 to total dick, how inappropriate is it to pick your boyfriend up from rehab with a hangover?
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize