Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
I called you to phone bone last night, but you were out with your boring friends playing video games
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Would it be out of line to take a picture of all the earrings, rings, hairclips, and other miscellaneous girl items that I found under my bed and post it on facebook and tag all the girls that I slept with this year so they can claim their shit and get it out of my house?
My garbage can has nothing in it besides condoms and candy wrappers. That's good garbage.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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