Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
let's be real here, you have a beautiful vagina. this kid is a doctors son. that's a remedy for beautiful rich grandkids. he is just trying water his family tree, and make sure he doesn't end up in some piece of shit adult home. go for it.
I'm going to text my booty call and tell him nevermind, that I got the job finished by myself. That will teach him to text back faster.
This lesson is brought you by a psychology class.
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
And I must've sleep walked to the fridge cause when I woke up, there I was, balls deep in a fudge pop.
Sorry that I got drunk and refused to let you buy me pizza. I'm a monster and I understand if you hate me forever
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
last night I used snow as a chaser
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
