He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
You didn't see us wave? How could you not? We were all going like 10mph screaming at you. We were stoned and didnt wanna run over pedestrians
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
He also informed us that it's rude to shove your tit in someone's mouth. Happy Monday.
What I'm trying to say is, that time you chained me to my dresser and made me beg for it was incredibly romantic.
You know I found it really difficult to find a full lenght picture for the egg donor site where I wasn't holding any alcohol...
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
They made the paper for stealing gnomes. I fucked a local celebrity.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I mean, who hasn’t been fingered in there back of an Uber?
Randomize
