That was a long time ago. She needed the money.
and you said cock pushups were impossible
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
What? Cold floors are soothing when you have a hangover. How am I supposed to pass that up. Even if I'm at my parents house
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
At what point were we discussing suction-cupping a dildo to the wall?
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I was told today that I'm the ugliest bartender in the area, so, I guess I have that going for me.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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