dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
I need help removing her.
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
At my internship. I get drug tested tmr at 2
Are they going to pay you for the one day you worked?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
my wrists were so small for the handcuffs, i could slip them off and hand the tow truck driver my keys....
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
