remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I told her I was pledging and she immediately proposed to give me head in the bathroom. i love how easy rushees are
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
Dude i have a 6th sense for when bagel bites are ready.
Slut skills are useful in every country.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
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