Fuck. I have a girl here waiting on me in my room! I told her I was going to get a drink of water... I'm in the bathroom taking a dump... I have mudd butt bad... There's NO toilet paper!!
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I've blown him so many times I feel like I have a better relationship with his dick than I do with him.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
It's like the drive of shame on fucking Christmas. Happy birthday Jesus
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
