We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
I am at a new level of appreciation for drunk-you, who threw up into her own sweatshirt pocket last night in the car. Brava.
I don't remember his name. I had whataburger on my mind and in my hands so I wasnt really listening
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Randomize
