I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
They were so loud I wrote them a sex critique and taped it to his door.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
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