She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
my dad just beat the shit out of me cuz i blew my nose on one of my dirty t shirts and he saw it and thought it was cum.
she was so hammered she started drinking dishwasher detergent
I dont know whats funnier - that, or that we learned that poison control is closed at 2 AM
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
can a guy be partially circumsized? cause i dont exactly know what i was lookng at...
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Somehow last night, my dad got me so drunk that I ended up throwing up on the couch, turning the cushions over to hide it, and going to sleep on them.
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
She checked into foursquare right as she left work so he would think she was there late and not on some other guy's dick
I have to say for barely passing high school, that girl is a genius.
the problem with having sex for lunch when its 98 degrees outside is that I can't tell if its sweat or semen running down my leg as I walk back in the office
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
Hahaha wear something that says i'm here to party but wont go farther then a handjob.
It's gotten so bad I typed my will out on my phone in case it's over.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
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