No, you can still breathe under the balls.
at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
yeah well we're currently on the phone and she's telling me about how much she misses me and all this shit and i muted myself and i'm watching porn.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Well, it's either jungle juice or memory of the night... It's unfortunate I can't have both
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
Everytime I feel sad about the break up; I recall that she is a Bernie supporter and feel all better
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Randomize
