stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
And I told him that even though were not together, if he has sex with anyone I would have sex with someone else, video tape it and send it to him.
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
I think my liver just tried to kill me, we need to slow down
Randomize
