if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I'm hungover during 4th grade graduation practice. I AM THEIR FUTURE.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
