im doing shots everytime lil jon says it in the song shots....blackout town here i come
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
lesson learned. Never drop acid before a trip to the aquarium. Sounds awesome, is actually terrifying.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
But I’m still curious to know... how did the homemade porno go?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
