that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
omg my older sister has been googling "how do I know if I've had an orgasm?" and "bj tips". the family laptop is not meant for this...
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
