they just came back. i guess "were gonna go get dinner" means "were gonna fuck for 5 minutes at the little league field"
my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Sharpest. Poop. Ever.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
In conversation she brought up that she slept with Tucker Max on the UF football field
i may or may not be making depth charges with cough syrup. i'll call you if i survive.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize