Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
He said I taste like butterscotch, licked me, then I'm pretty sure he wet his pants. So no, I do not want to invite him over.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
A condom just fell out of me. Happy Tuesday.
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