Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
Lesson learned:nothing good comes from an at home wax kit.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
I gave him a HANDJOB.
But then he finished from a handjob in under two minutes so who's really laughing?
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
Randomize
