Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
the lighter is IN the bong. I don't know what to do
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
is there a way to sugar-coat "shes in jail" when someone is texting me asking where their friend is?
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
You're the reason I lose Never Have I Ever
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
When we got home I apparently addressed everyone as 'peasant' since it was my birthday, this followed by me demanding for my "peasants to wash me".
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
My dream date: Hotdogs/nachos from the bar & tequila. Is that too much to ask?
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
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