Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
No worries. It'll grow back. I mean, hey, my eyebrows grew back after he shaved them off. So it's all good.
I am more familiar with your toilet than I ever want to be with any appliance
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
I guess I've just seen a lot of penises since then
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
Randomize
