go do what you do best...puke behind churches
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
I swallowed and made him pancakes in the morning. I feel almost as desperate as Jennifer Aniston at this point.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
This is gonna be a long day for my vagina and I
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
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