you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
you kept thanking chef boyardee for having pull tab cans
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
It was your ex but it was not eighties night, it was pudding wrestling. And either thank you or I'm sorry depending on the state of my pants left on the doorstep
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
I woke up with a meat pie in my hand and my mouth tasting like an ashtray. I'm a catch, really!
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
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