remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
Yeah. Let's save our goodbyes for when I'm obnoxiously and embarrassingly drunk and more than likely naked.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Sending a pic of labia to send to the TN Legislator. Obviously they don't think I know what to do with it so I'm gonna ask them for advice.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
Randomize
