sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
I like how our relationship transcends the borders of inappropriateness and encompasses all the colors of the inappropriate rainbow.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
If you had a good reason for throwing the toaster at the wall, now's a good time to tell someone. My parents are on their way back and you know my dad and his pop tarts.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
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