Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
I remember sitting there at the toilet, bleeding everywhere and thinking, "I walked from my bedroom to here. What happened?"
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
I told him I'd go cook him breakfast, but ended up passing out on the kitchen floor in the fetal position spooning the dog
When God was sprinkling self control to everybody, he ran out and was like ehhhh she'll make it!
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
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