fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Could you explain why there is an Australian passport in your toilet?
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
So the drug dealer I'm sleeping with just got drugs from the other drug dealer I'm sleeping with
Isn't life beautiful?
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize