I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
After he called me a "spirited little girl" I realized that I need to stop sleeping with guys more than ten years older than me.
I made him go down on me for 40 mins then pretended to pass out. I swear, I'm like a boy.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Mainly I just wanna pet bunnies. And purple chicks. Well any color chicks if I close my eyes. But purple if I open them.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
He stood next to me peeing as I was puking behind a car in the parking lot, telling me how much he loved me. On the other hand, he loves me!
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
