Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
He broke up with his gf yesterday so he could give me our annual Christmas sex at midnight.
Marry him. Now.
Im eating these cheese filled pretzels. So good. Theres jizz dripping out places i didnt even know i had.
High with mom again. She's giving me relationship advice.
I saw a kitty kat get finger blasted on the couch by a Bulls player
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
Randomize
