all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
I literally just saw a campus policeman riding a Segway pull over a moving car. you should just give up.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
I can't talk to her. I know entirely too much about her genitals to hold a conversation without mentioning them.
I was drunk petting a fox and taking shots of Jager. That's about as outdoorsy as it gets.
I'm two guys short from fucking the whole baseball team and one is gay. I will be successful by the end of this month.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Look at all the pictures I have of us sucking on jello syringes.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize