It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
WAKE UP. GET ME THE PILL. AND SAVE MY LIFE
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Well I'm back. Could you fill me in on what I missed?
You don't want to know. Trust me.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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