I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
I'm glad you trust me to be your sex stat keeper.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
Randomize
