I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
My chiropractor just high fived me for getting drunk enough to throw my back out this weekend.. Life. Complete.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
why is there a dog in my house with your initials shaved in it's fur?
dude, i just woke up in a house i've never seen. i have bigger problems
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Listen all I know is that mistakes were made and she stole the car and drove half an hour for food at 4 am
Randomize
