Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
I found his belly button lint in my hair. Can't say it was worth it.
My legacy here is being that tiny blonde girl that threw someone down and shouted "Fuck your face, I'm Dee Dee Ramone."
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I WANNA... wait, will you kinkshame me?
Nah.
I WANNA KNOW WHAT HE SMELLS LIKE
she glued two packs of googly eyes on you while you were blacked out. We talked her out of using her hot glue gun.
ummmm thanks
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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