it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I can feel my pain tolerance has shot up right along with my libido
is it wrong to hook up with someone at a memorial drum circle
I was having a dream that I was swimming in a pool filled with melted chocolate but woke up to find I had poured chocolate milk all over my body
Interesting fact: if you wanted to rename a guy Jeff, just tell him you only fuck Jeffs. Magically whatever name he was using is actually his middle name cause he doesn't like going by Jeff.
I'll start cleaning the house tonight darlin. So you don't have to fuck your two boytoys in the driveway the next two days.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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