my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Randomize
