I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
oh good. ive just found out that i went downstairs at 6 am still blacked out and had a 30 minute conversation with my mom about the different ways to feed our dog
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
What's a "vodkaffle"?
It's where she puts vodka in the waffle mix.
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Randomize
