The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I need to not be around brick walls while intoxicated.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Double vision is so hot when a big dick is in sight. Thank you Bud Light.
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
I guess that means I was blowing a nerd last week.
And loving it.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
But I only have 2 emotions angry and horny
My dad is sitting where you rode me
Randomize
