half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
when we asked you if you had had anything to drink tonight you looked up from the toilet while cupping the water into your hands and said "this.. just this"
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
My night can be summed up in 3 words: Vodka. Threesomes. Hospital.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
Walking into her house she felt something in her bra.... It was a used condom. Sadly enough this is not the first or last time it will happen. It's time for an intervention.
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
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