I either date the nice guys or the assholes. There isn't any in between.
You need to find a taint.
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
The world isn't going to end because you slept with him!
... that would be easier though.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Pencil dick carries the name proudly.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
So I took my bra off and threw it in the bushes before we went to the bars..
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Im 76 percent sure I took a fully clothed shower last night.
Randomize
