I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
She even gives head with a lisp.
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
I'm not so good at organized events that don't revolve around whiskey or playgrounds.
We are not in a rock band. We can't continue living like this.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Randomize
