Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
Walk of Shame. In a state park.
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
sounds like you fell off the wagon.
fuck falling off. at this point, the wagon is a dot on the horizon.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
of course! give me a few hours to recover from chugging a 4loko out of a frisbee, and it will be rage time yet again
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
Randomize
