but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
My shirt is ruined. If I ever get the idea of doing a tequila shot through my nose ever again, shoot me.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
I may not be his cup of tea, but I bet I'm his 10th shot of tequila
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
Randomize
