I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
You thought cars couldnt see you if you stuck your head in the mail box
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
I forgot how few teeth there are in this state...
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
There's a dead squirrel in the freezer. Is that what you stopped to get out of the road last night?
Just puke n rally. People can't judge, it's syllabus week.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
Randomize
