Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
insurance, jail, and birth control were made for people like us.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I'm by the tree and the Dora the explorer balloon .. Look for the Dora the explorer balloon
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
It's next to that place that has cock fighting.
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